Killing Characters (The Right Way)

Have you ever read a book where an important character died, and you felt completely crushed by that death, as though you had lost someone real? Now, have you ever read the death of a character and felt…nothing? The big build-up led to that moment, and you just couldn’t muster anything but indifference?

Killing characters is in vogue these days, but there are good reasons and bad reasons to do it. When characters die in service to the story, the impact can be huge. It can be a moment that your readers will remember forever. When characters die for the wrong reasons, you’ll be lucky if your reader only feels indifference and not outright irritation.

The Wrong Reasons

There are plenty of questionable justifications for charactericide. Let’s start with a few reasons to not kill your characters.

First — to “spice up” the story, or make it more edgy. Some authors assume that adding more sex or violence automatically makes their story more mature. But just because it contains “mature content” doesn’t automatically make it better. In fact gratuitous mature content that’s not integral to the story can easily come off as juvenile.

Second — to show that your villain is evil. Don’t get me wrong, a villain killing key characters as they advance their agenda can be important story beats. The problem is more when murder is used as a substitute for characterization. Does the villain kill for a reason? Do they have a personality beyond “that crazy guy who’s always indiscriminately killing?” If not, you may end up with a dangerous character who still manages to be flat and uninteresting.

Finally — to make your life, as the author, easier. You may find yourself deep in the slog of the second act, absolutely despising one of your characters. Maybe their personality developed in a really annoying way. Maybe they just want to do things that push the story in a direction you don’t want to go. It’s tempting to just “get rid” of them. But that doesn’t really solve the problem. Chances are, that character didn’t get a nice, meaningful arc.

What you really have to do is decide if you want to keep that character at all. Maybe they don’t belong in this particular book. They might need a big personality adjustment. Fix the character, adjust the plot, or pull them out of the story. It’s a bad idea to just knock a character dead in a random spot, even if it might be cathartic for the author.

With those out of the way, let’s talk about some good reasons to kill a character.

An Inciting Incident

At the root of each story is an inciting incident. This is the moment when the protagonist’s world changes. It’s the moment that introduces the major conflict or tension that will drive the story. You can be sure that your protagonist losing someone close to them will turn their world upside down and throw them into conflict.

As a well-worn example, look at the beginning of Star Wars. Luke Skywalker’s old life is over when his aunt and uncle are killed and his home is burned down by the Empire. He has nothing left to tie him to his former home, and he has a whole new reason to want to fight the Empire, something he was already considering.

This kind of character death isn’t without dangers. To be an effective inciting incident, it has to happen early. That means the reader is still getting to know your protagonist, and they’re very unlikely to have any strong feelings toward the character(s) you’re killing off. They need to see how those deaths hurt your protagonist, but their empathy is naturally going to be limited. Even among crazed Star Wars fans, you’ll be hard-pressed to find someone who really loves Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.

Developing a Character

The middle of a story may be the most interesting time to kill off a character. The reader has had a good amount of time to learn about your characters, to understand them, and to empathize with them. The middle of the story is also when you’re deep into the conflicts and tension that drive the story. That dead character is going to leave others behind, and their death can and should influence how the remaining characters move forward.

The death of one character may reveal more about another character who lives. In Ender’s Game, we discover two-thirds of the way through the book that the protagonist has killed two people. We watched him fight those people, but never knew the outcomes. Ender himself isn’t told that he has killed, because the people manipulating him know that the knowledge might destroy him. As readers, we understand that he doesn’t want to be a killer. He hates the very idea. But people around him have learned how to manipulate him into killing, for their own purposes.

Sometimes, death reveals more about a why a character is the way they are. Sometimes, it shows just what they’re willing to do. In the Hellblazer comics, John Constantine watches the people close to him die. People he trusts and loves. He learns that letting people get close is dangerous. It leads to pain. That’s why he does his best to be a sarcastic asshole: so he can hold everyone important at a safe distance — for them, and for himself. But, of course, he doesn’t always succeed. People get close, and suffer the consequences.

John Constantine is a complicated character though. He’s far from the typical goody-two-shoes superhero. In fact, he’s often the anti-hero, and perhaps occasionally the villain. He kills. Sometimes for the right reasons, sometimes for his own selfish reasons. Sometimes because he just doesn’t care. He can be cruel and manipulative as much as he can be soft-hearted.

Sometimes, death can reveal secrets. Perhaps the dead character has been hiding things, and those secrets can only come out once that character is no longer there to protect them. One character killing another may also reveal an animosity that was kept under wraps. In The Truth is a Cave in the Black Mountains, we believe that the protagonist is seeking treasure and riches. It is only when he ends up in a fight to the death with the other major character that his true intentions are revealed. Little bits of carefully parceled back-story take on entirely new meaning as the twist unfolds.

Resolving an Arc

If the middle of the story is the most complicated time to kill a character, the end of the story is probably the simplest, although it’s not without its challenges. The end of the story is when the reader knows the most about your characters. They ‘ve been with them, through thick and thin. They empathize with the good guys, and they’re hoping against hope that the bad guys will lose.

In a traditional tragedy, the hero dies at the end. Their mistakes or failures catch up with them. They may go down swinging, or they may realize the error of their ways. In a more modern take, the hero may save the day, but sacrifice themselves in the process. No matter what leads to their death, it should mean something. Back in our Star-Wars example, Darth Vader is an exemplar of this. He is an important villain throughout the original Star Wars trilogy, and only at the very end does he realize his true feelings, saving the day and his son.

Of course, many villains think they’re in the right all the way to the end. They go down swinging. But their death typically ends the main conflict, and often resolves one or more characters’ arcs. These other characters probably have strong feelings about this, to be explored before bringing the story to a close.

The Takeaway

When you feel tempted to kill a character, ask what it accomplishes. How does it affect the characters who are left behind? Does it move the story forward?

Put yourself in the shoes of your reader. Will they be excited? Heartbroken? Or bored and irritated? It’s surprisingly easy to kill a character. What’s hard is killing them the right way.

Razor Mountain Development Journal #28

This is part of my ongoing series where I’m documenting the development of my serial novel, Razor Mountain. Be forewarned, there are spoilers ahead! You can start from the beginning here.

Last Time

I worked on the chapter 17 and 18 summaries (and also identified some things I may want to go back and improve).

A Little Characterization

I spent a little time this week thinking about Christopher and God-Speaker’s personalities and came away with more ideas about what each of them is interested in.

Christopher loves drawing. Not necessarily what he would consider “real art,” but sketches, doodles, and little things in the margins. As a boy, he loved drawing and programming. When he went to school, he chose a degree in computer science. It was the pragmatic choice — the jobs were plentiful and paid well, as opposed to the challenge of making it as an artist. Yet another example of Christopher avoiding risk and choosing the safe path. As a result, he still has a little nagging regret that he didn’t pursue art beyond a hobby.

Christopher was always fascinated by Leonardo da Vinci’s journals. He got into the habit of similar journaling, mixing sketches and little blurbs of text. He doesn’t journal consistently, and he doesn’t follow any particular format or try to get anything out of them. In fact, he rarely goes back and looks at what he’s written. However, this is an important way that he processes things.

I also decided that Christopher has a habit of talking to himself. This is a bit of an aid for writing a character who spends Act I alone, but it also mirrors God-Speaker and the way he listens to the voices from the artifacts and from the people whose minds and bodies he has usurped over the centuries.

Christopher exhibited this tendency at a young age, but his father worried that it would make him seem strange to others and cause him to be bullied or mocked by other children. Christopher’s father discouraged it, and as a result, Christopher has learned to mostly suppress it around other people. It starts to creep in more as he spends days alone in the wilderness.

Finally, I decided that God-Speaker has a weakness for music. He has avidly followed the development of various instruments and the advancements of music theory over the years. He has a collection of music players (from wax cylinders to records to digital) and a handful of musical instruments in his offices. He also writes music from time to time, but he keeps it secret, never showing it to anybody. He sees himself as a hobbyist, and is afraid that his work is bad, despite centuries of occasional study.

God-Speaker’s Act II

I realized as I came into chapter 19 that the God-Speaker chapters very abruptly change from a sequence where everything is close in time to a series of vignettes with many years in-between. Meanwhile, Christopher’s chapters continue to be close together on the timeline.

I could explicitly break the book into parts. I think that a major delineation like that cues the reader to be on the lookout for bigger changes in structure, like jumps in time. I’m not sure it’s a particularly elegant solution.

Another option is to sprinkle enough context into the first of these vignette chapters to make the time transitions clear. Some ways to do that:

  • Make direct mention of years passing in exposition.
  • Show that God-Speaker is much older through changed physical attributes
  • Highlight changes to Razor Mountain that must have taken years to complete

The first chapter that “jumps” in time will be the most jarring. After that first jump (and definitely after the second), the reader will be primed to look for clues as to how much time has passed in subsequent chapters. For that to work, I still need to provide clues, such as:

  • Each chapter after the first, God-Speaker is in a different body that he has taken over
  • In each chapter, Razor Mountain and the people around God-Speaker have changed
  • In each chapter, God-Speaker is dealing with a completely different set of problems (but following a progression as he consolidates power and hides from the world, all in order to be as safe as possible)

Chapter 19

God-Speaker is older now. It’s a cold morning, and his body aches. He greets a fresh group of ice-age migrants to the village at the base of Razor Mountain. He thinks to himself that there are many migrants, and there will soon be too many people in the village. He will have to be more selective about who he allows in. These newcomers are somewhat in awe, except for one young man who is determined to be unimpressed.

God-Speaker brings them to a large hall in the middle of the wooden buildings, where they eat a large meal, to impress upon the newcomers how good life is here. He answers some questions and deflects others. He asks them about their skills. The irritable young man claims to be a great hunter.

After they’re done, he leads them around the village, showing them where livestock, proto-grains, vegetables, berries and mushrooms are all being cultivated. He shows them stores of preserved food. He shows them a mine and a simple forge where they’re developing smelting and metalworking.

Finally, he explains that this “great tribe” is superior to small tribes. He tells them that he was called here by the gods of the mountain. He listens to them, and learns all the wisdom that allows the village to thrive. The newcomers are eager to join, and God-Speaker convinces the young man by flattering him and explaining that his skill in hunting will be vital to teach others.

God-Speaker passes them off to someone else to get situated. He follows a path up to a cave entrance, and heads into the mountain. Again he feels his body wearing out and knows that death is stalking him. He hears the whispering voices, and they grow louder deeper into the cave. Soon, if he can learn the secrets of the voices, he thinks he will show them something truly amazing: his own rebirth into immortality. He just has to do it before his body gives out.

Cliffhangers:

  • Will he die, or be reborn?

Mysteries:

  • 19.1 – Can the artifacts actually make him immortal?
  • 19.2 – Are the voices actually gods?

Episode Arc:

  • God-Speaker works to convince the group of newcomers to join the village, especially one skeptic who comes around by the end. He is building and carefully controlling a community, and developing power through the artifacts.

Notes:

  • Need to research what naturally occurring plants, animals and mushrooms would be available in this time period and location.
  • Need to research primitive metalworking.

Chapter 20

Christopher wakes in the night as he’s being roughly bound and gagged. He has a bag put over his head. He tries to scream, but can’t make much noise, and receives a blow to the head. Woozy, he is unsure if this is something orchestrated by the people he just met or someone else.

He is dragged and shoved and stumbles for a few minutes. He hears two voices speaking quietly, and thinks he recognizes one of them: the man who was guarding his room.

After some time, he feels cold air and hears that they’re moving through an echoey space, perhaps a cave, and then into snow outside. He becomes more and more sure that his captors are Garrett and Harold. They argue whether they are making a good choice, and whether they’ll be allowed back into the mountain. They discuss some of the contents of Christopher’s pack, which they apparently brought with them.

Finally, they stop to rest and remove Christopher’s head-bag and gag (warning him that he’ll get another knock on the head if he’s loud). Christopher begins to understand that they’re betraying the others and they may be afraid of Amaranth catching up. Garrett tells Christopher that if he has any useful information, he should talk now, because the professional interrogators up at the mountain will be far less pleasant. He tries to sound threatening, but Christopher thinks he’s actually nervous. Harold doesn’t like the plan at all, but does what Garrett says anyway.

They continue walking the rough, heavily-wooded slopes toward Razor Mountain in the faint moonlight. Christopher decides there isn’t much he can do but go along with them. He decides to wait and see if any opportunities for escape present themselves. Harold expresses the opinion that he thinks the 550th might just shoot them all on sight. Garrett doesn’t respond.

Cliffhangers:

  • Will they be shot on sight?

Mysteries:

  • 20.1 – Who is up on the mountain? What is the 550th?
  • 20.2 – What is the situation between the Razor Mountain people and Garrett and Harold’s people?

Episode Arc:

  • Christopher is kidnapped. He’s confused, fearful, and a bit beat-up. He decides he is going to have to do something if he wants to get out of this situation, but isn’t sure what. He pacifies himself thinking that he’ll wait for a better opportunity

Results

I got through two more chapter summaries, fleshed out Christopher and God-Speaker’s interests, and identified some challenges presenting God-Speaker’s Act II chapters clearly to the reader.

Weekly Microfiction

Last week, I talked about a little experiment I’m doing — a very little experiment! As a slightly silly way to get back into writing short stories, I started putting out microfiction on Twitter, @DeferredWords. Every morning for the past week, I’ve been posting a story in a single tweet, and I’m going to keep doing it for a couple more weeks.

Here are this week’s stories:

Gary Left

Princess, Under the Moon

Carlos and Esteban

Angela’s Enlightenment

Space Wizards

Dana Asks

The First Time

See you next week for seven more micro-stories!

Reference Desk #10 — The Story Engine

The Story Engine is a card-based tool to generate endless, semi-random writing prompts. It’s is billed as a tool or multiplayer game to aid in writing fiction, playing tabletop RPGs, or just to be played on its own. It started out in 2019 as one of those Kickstarter projects that caught fire and got fifteen times as much money as they were asking for. Now, the full product is launched, along with myriad add-ons enabled by Kickstarter stretch goals.

As a writer, a TTRPG player, and general lover of boxes of cards with nice art, I decided to try it out.

What’s in the Box

The main box comes with 180 cards. There are also three 60-card “expansions” that can be purchased separately: sci-fi, fantasy, and horror; and six 18-card sub-genre “boosters” for cyberpunk, steampunk, eldritch horror, post-apocalyptic, mythological and dystopian. I went for broke and got the whole collection. The core set is genre-agnostic, but the add-ons are clearly focused on speculative fiction.

The build quality is solid, which I appreciate as someone who has accumulated quite a few board and card games of varying quality. The box is a sturdy, fold-open affair that latches with magnets and has a sleeve. The cards are glossy, nicely weighty paper, and the illustrations are evocative. The cards aren’t plastic-coated, so expect the edges to get roughed up as they’re repeatedly shuffled.

How Does it Work?

The cards are divided into five different types: Agents, Engines, Anchors, Conflicts and Aspects.

  • Agents represent characters
  • Engines represent a goal or desire
  • Anchors represent places, things, and ideas
  • Conflicts are challenges or difficulties
  • Aspects are adjectives

In its simplest form, I can play one card of the first four types, in sequence, to generate a random prompt, such as

A daredevil (agent) wants to enact a secret plan revolving around (engine) an election (anchor), but they will bear the scars for all to see (conflict).

I can then customize that prompt in two ways. First, each card has 2 or 4 prompt phrases depending on type, so it can be turned 90 or 180 degrees to change the “active” phrase facing me to something more inspiring. Secondly, I can add an Aspect. Since aspects are adjectives, they can be applied to the noun cards: agents (characters) and anchors (places, things, ideas).

With those changes, I might transform the first prompt into

A tormented fraud (agent + aspect) wants to unmask the conspiracy of (engine) a rebellion (anchor), but they will bear the scars for all to see (conflict).

The guidebook that comes in the main box also suggests ways to use the cards to generate character concepts, items and settings, as well as several more complex prompts that utilize more cards. These include things like conflicted characters with multiple goals, or two characters in conflict over related goals.

Finally, it includes rules for multi-player storytelling games and some helpful hints toward RPG players as to how the various prompts might be used in building campaigns, settings and scenarios.

Despite all these prescriptive rules for building prompts, The Story Engine is also happy to tell you that this doesn’t have to be rigid, with hard and fast rules. You can use the cards however you’d like.

1. A robot wants to map an obsidian prison, but they will have to try something frightening and new. 2. An archivist wants to pay an old debt with a corrupted tool, but they will have to resist a great temptation.

My Experience

The Story Engine does a good job riding the line between too specific and too vague. I often find writing prompts irritating when they’re little more than a vague topic, but too much detail obviously takes any agency away from the writer.

I filled a few notebook pages using the “simple” writing prompts. Not all of the results were instantly inspiring, but I was able to glean a few ideas that feel promising, and a few more that seem like they could lead somewhere with a bit more time and thought.

The complex prompts include more cards and more structure, and as a result they are less open-ended and more inflexible. These are sometimes too detailed for me, feeling like there’s not enough room for filling in the blanks. However, you can always swap cards or break the rules to get something more to your liking.

The individual cards are also just fine as prompts by themselves. Sometimes a one-word character or setting description is all you need, especially when trying to flesh out an idea in progress. The pictures on the cards also do work as extra inspirational elements that don’t insert more words into the mix.

What about RPGs?

I’m not currently running a campaign, so I haven’t tried incorporating The Story Engine into one. However, I have used the similar dice-and-table-based prompts in The Perilous Wilds to run totally improvised one-shots of Dungeon World. I could definitely see using The Story Engine to do something similar.

If you have a home brew campaign, these prompts are probably going to be more useful than if you’re trying to add to a pre-written one. They might also be fun for generating NPCs on-the-fly when your adventuring party takes an unexpected turn.

Conclusions

So far, I’m pleased with what I’ve gotten out of The Story Engine, and I’ll continue to use it. My only concern is that the prompts might start to feel samey after a while. Even if there are technically billions of combinations, the cards will eventually become familiar. Still, with the core and add-ons, I have quite a few cards to work with. I think I’ll be using these cards as a story brainstorming tool for a long time.

If you’re unsure, the core set is a good starting point, and it’s genre-agnostic. If you’re not writing speculative fiction, the add-ons don’t offer much. If you are writing spec-fic and The Story Engine sounds exciting to you, buying one of the bundles gets you a pretty steep discount vs. buying piecemeal.

Check it out at https://storyenginedeck.myshopify.com/

Razor Mountain Development Journal #27

This is part of my ongoing series where I’m documenting the development of my serial novel, Razor Mountain. Be forewarned, there are spoilers ahead! You can start from the beginning here.

Last Time

I finished the chapter summaries for Act I and reviewed how the process is working. I tend to change my process for just about every project I work on, so I’m always reevaluating.

Chapter 17

Some of the surprised exiles draw guns on Christopher as he enters their underground hideout. Amaranth interposes herself between them and Christopher. She has a furious sign-language argument with them that Christopher has difficulty following.

Ema, the leader of the exiles, is drawn out from an adjacent room by the commotion. Amaranth appeals to her, and she has one of the other exiles (Harold) keep watch over Christopher in a supply closet while she goes with Amaranth into the other room.

Christopher is still shocked, but he asks Harold what’s going on. He tries to explain that he’s been lost and is just trying to get back home, but Harold politely asks him to be quiet and wait for Ema. After a few minutes, she comes back, and has him brought into her “office,” another store room with an old table and cot.

She sits him down and makes the others leave. She explains that she’s in charge, and she’s going to ask him questions, and he’s going to answer. She doesn’t trust him, and her goodwill depends on how honest she thinks he is.

She asks him who he is, and he explains his job and where he’s from. She asks him why he’s here, and he explains everything from waking up on the flight to the point where Amaranth found him. She’s skeptical of his plane story and his surviving the jump. She’s worried that if he was shot at, the people at Razor Mountain might be aware of him now. Christopher tries to ask questions about Razor Mountain, but she cuts him off.

She begins to ask stranger and stranger questions, about the general state of America and the Soviet Union, and whether there have been any nuclear strikes. She asks him who he really works for. She threatens him and asks again why he’s here and how he plans to escape. He gives up trying to answer reasonably, and tells her there’s no point if she’s convinced he’s lying about everything. Again, he tries to ask her questions about what this place is. He tells her that her ideas about the outside world are very skewed.

Ema finally stops the questioning, seemingly defeated, and brings him out into the main room, where the others pretend that they weren’t listening in. She tells them to do what they want with him.

Cliffhangers:

  • What are they going to do with him?

Mysteries:

  • 17.1 – Why do these people seem to have strange ideas about the outside world?

Episode Arc:

  • Christopher starts out in shock, and gets progressively more confused and disheartened.

Chapter 18

Christopher is introduced to the other exiles, who seem like reasonable people, at least initially. They all have questions, mostly about his arrival and the outside world. Christopher feels intimidated by all these people focused on him. They have mixed reactions to his responses, and again he gets the sense that they have strange ideas about the outside world. They are clearly disappointed. He notices that Garrett is stand-offish, but constantly watching him. Amaranth hovers, almost protectively.

He keeps trying to ask what is going on at the mountain, but they avoid giving him straight answers. One or two of them respond, but they’re hushed by others before they can reveal much more than “Razor Mountain is a city,” and it has a military presence. He wonders if this is some kind of strange cult, or people who have lived out away from civilization for a long time. He wonders about the bunkers and the radio signals.

He thinks that he might have been better-off alone in the bunker. Eventually Amaranth leads him to another small room, completely bare, and brings in a cot for him. She asks him questions by writing on scraps of paper – is he telling the truth, and does he know of any way to get back to where he came from. He says yes and no. She apologizes and says it may have been a bad idea to bring him here.

Harold peeks in and tells Christopher that he’ll be standing guard, and if Christopher needs anything (like the bathroom) he just has to ask.

Cliffhangers: No

Mysteries:

  • 18.1 – What is Razor Mountain? Why do these people seem afraid of it.

Episode Arc:

  • Christopher starts out confused, and starts to seriously worry that he’s gotten himself in an even worse situation with these people.

Notes:

  • I would like to work in a little more information about the exiles, without giving away all the mysteries of their origins and Razor Mountain.

Results

Sadly, I only got through two chapter summaries this week, and I may still revise these further. Act II is often the roughest, and this was probably the least-defined section when I was originally thinking through the plot. I suspect it may be a slog.

Writing Microfiction

I’ve been feeling the itch to write short fiction lately. It’s something I haven’t done much in the last couple years. I don’t really have the bandwidth to work on another novel alongside Razor Mountain, so something shorter was really appealing.

I came up with a little project: an anthology of micro-fiction. Not just flash fiction (usually 1500 words or less). Not even a drabble (exactly 100 words).

It’s obvious what short-form writing actually defines our modern age: Twitter. Since 2018, each tweet provides a whopping 280 characters to work with. In my experience, that’s about 45 words, depending on your punctuation, white space and trendy hashtags. Is it even possible to write a coherent or interesting story in that tiny space?

Well, I tried the experiment. I wrote twenty-one micro-stories. I’ll let you judge whether the experiment was a success or failure. Every day for the next couple weeks, I’m going to tweet a new micro-story on @DeferredWords. I’ll also collect them into mid-week posts here on the blog.

What’s the Point?

Why bother doing this? The simple answer is “for fun, to see if I could.” It helped rev up my short story brain after a bit of a hiatus. But I was also hoping to learn something in the process. In fact, I learned a few things.

Don’t Be Precious

When you’ve written a story that’s barely a story and you need to trim ten more letters to get below your limit, you are forced to trim things that feel essential. That adjective or adverb feels so good, but is it really needed? What about those commas? Do you really need any articles, ever? Maybe that seven-letter name should be a three-letter name.

The limit is harsh, and it demands harsh sacrifices. I went through this exercise over and over again, and it turned out that the story was often better when I rewrote it around that one or two word edit. It made me think harder about the cuts I should be making in longer projects.

The Barest Bones of a Story

I keep long lists of little brainstorming ideas, which gave me lots of fodder for micro-fiction. When you actually try to write an idea out as the smallest possible story, it becomes apparent very quickly whether an idea has “good bones,” or just a setting or character without arc or resolution. This is a really good exercise to go through for a short story or novel idea, to prove that the concept is solid and to nail down the core of the story.

Form Follows Function

When I started writing these micro-stories, I assumed that any authorial voice would fly right out the window. In some ways, it does. I definitely had stories with phrases that I really liked but had to throw away, because they wouldn’t work in these tight constraints. However, as I wrote and revised more stories, I discovered that even in 45 words, there is space for humor, weirdness, and sometimes even an extra word here or there to achieve a particular effect. Voice is the sum of the choices you make within your chosen constraints.

Variety is Valuable

I’m a firm believer that every story, every book, every writing project teaches you something. As authors, everything we write is influenced by what we wrote before it, and what we learned along the way.

Granted, you can only learn so much from a tweet-length story, but I was able to write a lot of these in the amount of time it would have taken to write one “proper” short story. Each little story with its own fun. Each with its own challenges.

Join In

You can get in on the fun too. Try writing a micro-story in 280 characters. All you need is a little idea. No outline. Put it out on Twitter, possibly with #microfiction. Ping me or send me a DM. Let me know if you learned anything interesting.

Razor Mountain Development Journal #26

This is part of my ongoing series where I’m documenting the development of my serial novel, Razor Mountain. Be forewarned, there are spoilers ahead! You can start from the beginning here.

Last Time

I improved chapter summaries for chapters 9, 10, and 11. I also vowed to get through these summaries faster!

Chapter 12

Christopher feels numb. He knows he’s in a bad situation, but he prepares shelter for nightfall and tries to go to sleep.

Instead, he ends up thinking back on his life so far. He considers his motivations and accomplishments, and decides that none of it is particularly special. Eventually, he decides that he’s probably not going to sleep, so he gets up and throws more logs on the campfire.

He spends the night taking in the beautiful scenery. Staring up at the stars makes him feel a peaceful melancholy. He realizes that despite his growling stomach and the looming thread of dying in the wilderness, he is content in this moment.

He decides that he will not cap off an unexceptional life by trying to find his way back to the bunker. Instead, he’ll take a huge risk: he will seek out the next point marked on the map, in hopes of finding people or a way home.

The next morning, he happily packs up and begins hiking, taking care with his ankle. He’s stiff and injured, but beginning to feel used to it. While walking through the forest, he comes across an offering in his path: a rabbit carcass, skinned, gutted, and ready to cook.

Cliffhangers: None.

Mysteries:

  • 12.1 – Who left the rabbit?

Episode Arc:

  • Christopher starts at a low point, but he works through it emotionally and makes a risky, but potentially rewarding choice instead of the safe one.

Notes:

  • This is a vital turning point for Christopher. He originally set out with a plan that he thought would keep him safe. Now he is actively choosing a risky path. He is beginning to accept the possibility of his own death with grace instead of fear.

Chapter 13

God-Speaker’s tribe trudges on through the blizzard. The stone god compels God-Speaker to climb a slippery ridge, and he sees that they are close to the place where the ice opens up. He directs the others, but slips and falls. He slides deep down into the ice and boulders, getting completely turned around.

He shouts, but the voices of his tribe are faint and echo from every direction. Soon, they fade away. He discovers that the stone god was broken in the fall. He is lost and alone.

Cliffhangers:

  • Will he find his way back to his tribe?

Mysteries:

  • None

Episode Arc:

  • God-Speaker is close to success, leading his tribe to a better land. Then he falls, and goes from victory to abject failure, losing the stone god and his tribe in a single moment.

Notes:

  • This chapter stayed mostly the same as the original, being a single short scene. I did pull his discovery that the stone god was broken from the next chapter into the end of this chapter, to really reinforce how bad the situation is.

Chapter 14

Christopher shouts and looks for people in the nearby forest, but finds no

Christopher shouts and looks for people in the nearby forest, but finds nobody. He finds a single smudge in the dirt that might be a footprint. He checks for traps, then picks up the rabbit and looks for any signs of tampering. He realizes he has no idea what he’s looking for, and if anyone wanted to cause him harm, they’d probably just do it directly.

He walks back to the campsite, relights the campfire, and roasts the rabbit. He knows that gorging on wild game while half-starved will probably wreck his stomach, and tries to restrain himself. He eats half and wraps the rest in packaging from the food he already ate.

He begins walking again, feeling slightly queasy, watching the trees for any sign of someone else. He wonders why the person won’t reveal themselves. He thinks about everything that has happened to him since he woke on the plane, but still doesn’t understand any of it.

He comes to an open area and sees that he’s close to the distinctive peak of Razor Mountain. Suddenly, bullets pelt the ground and nearby trees, and he’s forced to take cover.

Cliffhangers:

  • Will he be shot?

Mysteries:

  • 14.1 – Who is shooting at him?

Episode Arc:

  • Christopher goes from tentative relief at the food to confusion over who might be helping him, to fear for his life as the bullets fly.

Notes:

  • This is Christopher’s last chapter alone in the wilderness by himself. A good opportunity to recap what’s happened so far, and check-in with Christopher’s emotional state before he gets mixed up with the people from Razor Mountain.

Chapter 15

Christopher moves deeper into the forest to avoid the shooting. It’s coming from the direction of Razor Mountain. While hiding and fumbling with the gun he brought from the bunker, he sees Amaranth in the trees.

She is wild-looking and moves with the litheness of a forest creature. She sneaks nimbly between trees to reach him without showing herself. She indicates with hand signs that he shouldn’t fire back, and motions to lead him on a route through the trees and glacial boulders that keeps him hidden from the shooter. After a while, it seems to be safe and they walk.

He tries to talk to her, but she points to scars across her throat, indicating that she can’t speak. She writes in the dirt, “talk later.” They continue to walk.

Nightfall comes, and she finally brings him to a cliff-side entrance, similar to the bunker where he first found refuge. Inside, it’s much bigger than the bunker. She leads him through a sort of ruined office area, with 1950s-era styling, past a blocked stairwell, to a set of rusted elevator doors. She pries them open, revealing a ladder along the side of the shaft. She has him go down first.

At the bottom, he exits the elevator shaft. There’s a long, poorly lit hallway. Amaranth leads him to a doorway at the far end and opens the door. On the other side are a dozen surprised people.

Cliffhangers:

  • What will the reaction of these people be?

Mysteries:

  • 15.1 – What is the place that Amaranth has brought him to?
  • 15.2 – Who is the girl who can’t speak?
  • 15.3 – Who are these other people?

Episode Arc:

  • Christopher is lost and confused. As he goes further and further into this complex, he becomes more and more worried that he’s making a bad decision. However, he was looking for buildings and people, and he’s found them both.

Notes:

  • This is a good time to play up the mysteries, since some payoffs and revelations will be coming shortly.

Chapter 16

God-Speaker gives the stone god a sort of burial, then wanders among boulders, blue ice, and sheer cliffs. After some time, he comes to a place where the ice is black, but it glows strangely. There are wisps of black smoke in the air, and he realizes that this is the smoking mountain.

He hears a new set of whispering voices that he’s never heard before. They remind him of the stone god, but they’re strange and alien. He feels compelled to continue toward the voices and finds a cave. He follows it in complete darkness until he comes to a glowing place.

There, he finds the voices (the artifacts) and bonds with them. He feels a violent electric shock, and receives a sort of enlightenment. He thinks he is dying and going to the spirit world, and he is afraid.

Cliffhangers:

  • Will he die?

Mysteries:

  • 16.1 – What is this place?
  • 16.2 – What are the voices/artifacts?
  • 16.3 – What is being done to him?

Episode Arc:

  • Everything has been taken from God-Speaker. He thinks he cares very little now what happens to him, but when he faces death, he’s still afraid.

Notes:

  • This is the turning point for God-Speaker. From this point forward, everything he does is to fight against death.

Act I Done

That’s Act I finished!

I only ended up “removing” one chapter, by combining two adjacent chapters that didn’t really stand on their own very well. Although the synopses are longer now for each chapter, I don’t think I added a ton of actual content. I just clarified things that were vague – things that I would have had to work through when writing.

Looking for cliffhangers was a useful exercise. Not every chapter ends in a cliffhanger, and that’s okay. But there were several spots where the opportunity was right there. I think the adjustments I made to create cliffhangers resulted in better-structured chapters, and better flow from one chapter to another.

Paying attention to the episode arc forced me to think more about what the two main characters are thinking in each chapter, and make sure that each chapter really has something meaningful happening to the character.

Tracking the mysteries was less important for structural adjustments than the arc or cliffhangers. However, I’ve been numbering them so that I can easily make a list and ensure that everything gets a satisfying answer.

Results

I managed to get through a couple more chapters this time (even if I ended up with an evening post instead of my usual morning post). I finished revising chapter summaries for Act I.

Next time, I’ll dig into Act II.

Reference Desk #9 — Write Now with Scrivener

I’ve made no secret that Scrivener is my tool of choice for writing novels. Now — like everyone else in the pandemic — they’ve announced a podcast. It’s called “Write Now with Scrivener,” and it’s scheduled to come out monthly. Thus far, there’s only one episode.

Like any series, I don’t think the inaugural episode is enough to judge a podcast, but I decided to check it out and see what it has to offer.

The Interview

The host is Kirk McElhern, author of “Take Control of Scrivener,” which is certainly on brand. He’s not somebody I’m familiar with, so I had no expectations. McElhern seems to have prepped well for the interview, and had solid knowledge of his subject, but I didn’t feel like he asked any particularly surprising questions or drew out any great insights.

Part of it, perhaps, is that the interviewee for this episode is Peter Robinson. He’s the author of the Alan Banks series. With more than thirty published novels, he’s clearly a successful author, but I don’t read a lot of detective mysteries, and I’m not familiar with his work. So again I came in with no expectations.

We learn that Robinson eschews outlines (can we please stop using the word “pantser” for this?) when starting a new book, but builds an outline as he goes to keep himself organized. As someone who outlines, I always find this a little bit amazing. Even more amazing to me is that he doesn’t know the ending. I’ve only ever dabbled in mystery, but it seems difficult to know where you’re going in the genre without an idea of the ending. It goes to show that writers can have very different processes to achieve similar results.

The Obligatory Bit About Scrivener

The final few minutes of the podcast was reserved to discuss how Robinson uses Scrivener. This was the bit I had concerns about. On the one hand, perhaps I would get a couple of useful tips. On the other hand, perhaps it’s just very thinly veiled advertising by the patrons of the podcast.

Robinson dutifully explained that he writes scene by scene, in fairly small chunks, and that Scrivener makes it easy to rearrange those scenes with drag-and-drop, or pull things out and save them for later. He also uses snapshots before changing a scene to compare the different versions afterward.

Having used Scrivener for a few years, I didn’t really get anything new out of this, and unfortunately it felt a little bit like advertising. However, if you’re new to Scrivener, these are the kinds of simple, straightforward features that make the product good for writing novels, and they’re useful to know about.

The Verdict?

As I said before, I’ll withhold judgement until I’ve heard a couple episodes. Overall, I found the chat with Peter Robinson interesting, even if I’m not a reader of his books. I hope that they’re able to get authors from various genres for future episodes.

I’m honestly a bit worried about the “how do you use Scrivener” bit. As much as I like the product, it feels a little too advertisey. I suspect that most writers are going to  talk about the same handful of main features: the ones at the core of what makes Scrivener good. What might be able to make this segment shine is an author who really utilizes some of the more hidden features.

Episode 60: John Garrison Marks, Historian Write Now with Scrivener

John Garrison Marks is a historian, whose latest book is Thy Will Be Done: George Washington's Legacy of Slavery and the Fight for American Memory. Show notes: John Garrison Marks Thy Will Be Done: George Washington's Legacy of Slavery and the Fight for American Memory DEVONthink Charles Sumner: Conscience of a Nation Learn more about Scrivener, and check out the ebook Take Control of Scrivener. If you like the podcast, please follow it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave a rating or review, and tell your friends. And check out past episodes of Write Now with Scrivener.
  1. Episode 60: John Garrison Marks, Historian
  2. Episode 59: Brad Bigelow, Biographer
  3. Episode 58: Tessa Hulls, Pulitzer Prize Winning Graphic Artist & Memoirist
  4. Episode 57: Jonas Enander, Astropyhsicist
  5. Episode 56: Alexander Rose, Historian

Razor Mountain Development Journal #25

This is part of my ongoing series where I’m documenting the development of my serial novel, Razor Mountain. Be forewarned, there are spoilers ahead! You can start from the beginning here.

Last Time

I worked through chapters 5-9, expanding the summaries, consolidating two chapters, and adding more mysteries and cliffhangers. I broke the pattern of Christopher and God-Speaker chapters, so I’m making a note to reevaluate that after I’ve gone through all the chapters.

Chapter 9

Christopher manages to dig his way out of the tent and the snow, damaging it in the process. He does his best to jury-rig a lean-to, but it goes poorly. He gets no more sleep before morning and is forced to eat and pack in heavy snow. He is cold, wet and miserable.

He decides to continue, with the belief that he can go one more day further and still make it back to the bunker if he needs to. But he is once again full of uncertainty. His progress is very slow.

He comes across what look like footprints in the snow in a heavily wooded area. He follows them, and they lead to a place where someone could have watched him. He continues to follow them, and thinks he catches a glimpse of someone in the trees. He chases and shouts, but he twists his ankle. The tracks go to a tree and disappear, as though someone climbed up, but nobody is in the branches. He shouts again, but nobody answers.

He still hasn’t gotten to his destination by nightfall, and he’s forced to make camp. He’s exhausted, and he constructs something that barely qualifies as shelter.

Cliffhangers – Is he lost again? Will he find the thing on the map?

Mysteries

  • 9.1 – Was there a person in the woods? Who?

Episode Arc – The chapter starts bad for Christopher, but his hope is renewed when he comes across the tracks. Then he chases the mystery person, hurts his ankle, and still hasn’t arrived. He pushes forward. He begins to seriously doubt he can do this, and even wonders if he’s having a mental breakdown.

Notes

  • This chapter originally lacked a good mystery or clear arc. I added the footprints and Christopher chasing the mystery person to address this.

Chapter 10 (Previously 11)

The tribe hikes slowly around the rock-strewn base of the mountain. It snows lightly. The other side is all scree slopes. They search for hours for a safe place to descend to a snowy valley below. They find a relatively shallow descent, but the loose rocks shift as they go down. Everyone slides to the bottom over sharp rock fragments. Several people are hurt. God-Speaker is struck in the temple on the way down and his head aches. They eat the last few morsels of food, then sleep.

The next day, they follow the valley as it winds to the left of the smoking mountain. The snow is deep here, and travel is slow. The valley turns away from the direction they want to go, and they are forced to climb rough slopes. At the top, they see a landscape of jagged glacial ice. There is no food in sight. God-Speaker’s head still throbs. He thinks he hears spirits nearby, but doesn’t understand them. The tribe sleeps, hungry and miserable.

The next day, they follow the canyons between the ice formations. Everything glows with the eerie blue light of the ice. They come to a tunnel into the ice, going in the right direction. They follow it, all sound muffled except footsteps and the deep thump of ice cracking far away or above. Deep in the tunnel, they come across a bear and two malnourished cubs. They kill, cook, and eat the animals, saving a few days of meat and giving thanks to the bears’ spirits.

The spirits seem louder here, to God-Speaker. He thinks it would be bad to sleep under the ice. Somewhat reinvigorated by the food, they press on. They arrive at the end of the tube. It is deep night, and there is a huge blizzard coming down. They sleep at the mouth of the tunnel. God-Speaker dreams that spirit voices are calling to him from the smoking mountain. They tell him that his tribe will be destroyed.

Cliffhangers – Will the tribe be destroyed? Will they make it through the blizzard?

Mysteries

  • 10.1 – What are the spirits that God-Speaker thinks he hears? Or does he just have a head injury?

Episode Arc – The tribe is hungry and travelling through barren areas. They have a difficult time over several days of travel. When they find and slaughter the bears, it gives everyone some hope again. The spirit voices worry God-Speaker though, and the blizzard means travel will be even harder from here.

Notes

  • This chapter was very poorly defined and really had to be reworked into a summary that will let me just write the chapter without having to figure out too many things in the process.
  • To make the travel interesting, I looked at pictures of glacial areas for inspiration. The tribe travels over varied terrain over several days.
  • The spirits that God-Speaker hears are alluding to the artifacts that he will encounter later, and add some mystery. His head trauma adds a plausible non-supernatural explanation.

Chapter 11 (Previously 12)

Christopher wakes early in the morning, aching and exhausted. He decides that he will look for the marked spot on the map for half the day. If he doesn’t find it, he’ll head back toward the bunker.

He studies the visible mountains, compares them to the elevations on the map, and believes he has a good idea of where he is. He travels over fairly flat, but heavily wooded terrain until he thinks he’s close to his destination. Noon comes and goes, but he finds nothing other than trees. He keeps searching, even though he knows he should start the journey back.

Mid-afternoon, he finds something: a slab of broken concrete sticking out of the ground at an angle, hidden behind a fallen tree and covered in lichen. He digs around and finds more chunks of concrete. He quickly realizes that a vague depression is actually the foundation of a small building. The walls are shattered. Christopher finds sooty scorch-marks on some of the concrete pieces.

He’s eventually forced to conclude that whatever was here is destroyed years ago. There are no hidden doors, and no habitable structure. It’s late enough that he sets up camp on the ruin.

Cliffhangers – No

Mysteries

  • 11.1 – What was the ruined building? How and why was it destroyed?

Episode Arc – Christopher is worn down, and starts his day by making a plan to give up. He searches longer than he told himself he would, desperate not to give up and admit defeat. He finally succeeds in finding the building, but it is ruined and useless, and he’s wasted more time. He is at his lowest point so far.

Notes

  • This chapter and the next both had very short single-paragraph summaries. I considered combining them, but I decided that they both had a viable structure and just needed to be expanded.

Results

I updated three more chapter summaries. I’m finding that analyzing each chapter by its cliffhanger, mysteries and arc is a pretty good strategy. When I don’t have a mystery or satisfying arc, that’s a pretty clear sign that something needs to be added or reworked. In every case where I’ve done that, I think the chapter has become stronger as a result.

I haven’t been able to put a ton of time into this project over the past couple weeks, which has been a little frustrating. I’m really eager to get through these summaries and begin writing. I wanted to start posting the story in the first half of the year. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I’ll be able to make that happen.

Still, steady progress is a good thing, and I’m not going to be too negative as long as the project keeps moving forward.

Write to Give

Welcome to “Write to Give,” my newest regular blog feature! My current plan is to post these one or two times per month on Wednesdays.

“Write to Give” is an opportunity for us to work together to make a difference. Every post will feature a charity or non-profit. I’ll explain how they’re making the world better, and I’ll link to their ratings so you can be confident they’re doing good things with the money they receive.

I’ll start things off by making an initial donation to the featured charity. Then, it’s your turn.

If you can afford it, make a donation. If not, that’s okay too. You can give just by commenting on my post. For each comment, I’ll donate an additional $1, and for each donation you make, I’ll match it, up to a max of $200 USD.

Second Harvest Heartland

Today’s “Write to Give” is in support of Second Harvest Heartland.

Second Harvest is a food bank in my home state of Minnesota. They distribute more than a hundred million pounds of food every year to people who would otherwise go hungry. They don’t just distribute canned and boxed foods. They focus on sourcing fresh food, working with local farms, coops, and local retail. You can read about their programs here.

Second Harvest acts as a distributor, providing food to local food shelves, shelters, meal programs, and even after-school programs.

With the myriad problems caused by COVID-19 over the past year and a half, more people than ever are depending upon food banks. Now is the perfect time to help.

Giving

I’ll start by giving $25.

Now it’s your turn. Just comment on this post! For each comment, I’ll give an additional $1.

Or, you can donate to Second Harvest Heartland here. Send me your receipt by email, DM me on Twitter, or comment with a link to somewhere like Imgur. I’ll match it dollar-for-dollar.

I’ll cap my matching/comment donation at $200. Show me your generosity and let’s see if we can hit that cap.

More Ways to Help

There are lots of ways you can help Second Harvest, or your own local food shelf. You can donate food, or even organize a food drive at your workplace, school, book club, or other get-togethers.

Many food shelves are in desperate need of volunteers to load/unload, organize or distribute food. Even if you can’t give financially, consider giving your time.

Other Considerations

Donations to non-profits are tax-deductible in the US and many other places. Keep your receipts if you want to claim the deduction on your taxes.

Many companies will match employee contributions to non-profits. Check with your employer to see if you can make your donation go even further.

Suggest a Non-Profit

Do you know of a charity or non-profit organization doing great work? Leave a comment on this post and tell me about it. I might pick your favorite non-profit for my next “Write to Give” post.